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| Dreams and Narcissism.I couldn't sleep so here I am pattering away on my keys.
I was pondering the statement, "One can only find truer love in their dreams" or any variation you've heard. Dreams are projections of the mind. Whatever input from the other individual that could possibly occur really is just oneself. Those dreams about hardcore sex? Just you. Driving in that racecar and being crashed in to? Still all you. Skiing with your favorite Olympic skier? Cycling with Lance Armstrong in the 2009 Tour de France? Toking it up with President Obama? You're flying solo, bud.
Which leads me to the thought that dreams with good outcomes are pretty narcissistic. Those sex dreams are really just one sleeping with one's own self. Dirty, isn't it?
From there, focusing on the idea of love in dreams, it feels so... one sided. Sure, your mind can attempt to recreate the exact nature of your significant other, your lover, etc. but never will it actually be. The other interaction, those intricate and delicate responses, every emotion that that other human is capable of feeling and their physical manifestations can never be matched in one's own mind(unless you can read minds: if you can, teach me).
I used to find dreams so comforting, so relaxing, so fulfilling, because everything could be perfect in this sleep-based wonderland. That bliss was lost to me when I found something in real life that is infinitely better than anything I could have ever dreamed of. Her name is Harmony, and I love her.
I still have good dreams, I still have great dreams, I still have nightmares, and I still wake up each morning longing for her. Being in a long distance relationship has it's downs, and each and every morning definitely qualifies. What's interesting is that to me, no matter how great my dream is, it still feels hollow and empty. No matter how real everything feels, I always wake up thinking about how strange it was that a certain piece, a certain emotion, a certain feeling was missing. That thing, I think, changes from dream to dream, but it's always absent. There are dreams when I've awoken in a panic trying to make sure what I thought happened didn't happen, and even those don't feel entirely whole.
There was more in my head keeping me from sleep. I guess it's gone now. Goodnight!
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| *SWINE FLU UPDATE* One of the best conclusions I've read in a long time!"But the truth is that every outbreak is unpredictable, and there's a lot we don't know yet about the new swine flu. There hasn't been a flu pandemic for more than a generation, and there hasn't been a truly virulent pandemic since long before the arrival of mass air transit. We're in terra incognito here. Panic would be counterproductive - especially if it results in knee-jerk reactions like closing international borders, which would only complicate the public-health response. But neither should we downplay our very real vulnerabilities. As Napolitano put it: "This will be a marathon, not a sprint." Be prepared."
Taken from http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20090427/hl_time/08599189402900
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| New Columbine Revelations.An article published today about the Columbine shooting that occurred ten years has shed some new light on the Columbine shooters.
The article, posted here, explains how many of the rumors circulated as facts are only starting to be corrected.
The descriptions of the men(I don't think it's proper to call them boys at their age) that committed this awful and devastating attack are striking. The rumors spread projected images of tall, mysterious, trench coat sporting gunmen intent on killing their tormentors and any classmates whose opinions they disagreed with. The information available now points to a much different reality, that both shooters were not so picked on, not normal individuals driven to insanity, but that their mental states were supremely twisted, altered, murderous and hellbent.
It so happens that the two shooters didn't intend to shoot and kill the majority of their victims. The two had planned a massive terrorist attack with a projected death toll(had everything worked) in the thousands of students. They wanted to kill everyone.
Eric Harris, the mastermind behind the attacks, is labeled as intelligent and charismatic, an excelling writer. He would tell anyone what they wanted to hear. Eric Harris, had he made it out of high school, could have easily killed many more people.
I'm having trouble describing what I feel. I feel disgust and anger towards the shooters. I feel sadness for those lost. I'm glad that the original plan failed. I'm glad that neither student made it out of high school, in to the real world. Harris was described as at least somewhat intelligent, which could open the doors monetarily for an attack much bigger than the one he planned and executed on Columbine.
I only hope that awareness to events and individuals like this continues to increase. I hope that students understand and react correctly to the warning signs students like the shooters give. I hope that those placed in charge with handling situations such as this handle it in a swift and precise manner.
I hope things like this don't ever happen again.
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| It's late.I'm tired, exhausted. I slept on that drab, dreary flight away from home but it didn't really help much. I'm still mindlessly numb and I still would rather not have got on the plane at all. The time to leave always comes too soon.
That's is with life, isn't it? Everything good ends too soon, and everything bad just doesn't seem to end, even with that damn light at the end of the tunnel.
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| Sometimes it just doesn't cut it.
Y'know?
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